08-15-2003 . Florist Code
08-12-2003 . Overdue Books
07-05-2003 . Past Regrets
06-12-2003 . Luminaries
05-05-2003 . Chemicals?
03-11-2003 . Psychic Driving
03-01-2003 . Trek Dream
02-27-2003 . Agent Resigns
02-14-2003 . Valentine Love
02-07-2003 . Coffee & Pudding
01-20-2003 . Groundhog Wardrobe
12-24-2002 . Christmas Stockings
12-13-2002 . Burger Messages
12-05-2002 . Don't Die Again
09-17-2002 . Shopper Confessions
08-20-2002 . Reading My Mail
08-12-2002 . Happened Again
07-10-2002 . Abraham Lincoln
07-09-2002 . Fuzzy Satan
06-19-2002 . Machenes
06-16-2002 . Too Many Dwarves
06-11-2002 . Fish Story
05-13-2002 . Green Clovers
05-03-1997 . Lotto Fever
December 24, 2002
Christmas Police
Christmas, MI 49862
Dear Officers,
I was afraid that your would find out what I was doing last night. But, you just drove past me. In the red sleigh? Nay. You were in a black and white, but it was green. Why? Can you tell me what tomorrow is? Does it matter? Please stop probing me. That hurts. I found a pair of socks shoved up my
during my bath last night. I know you are doing this. Do you think its funny? You are making me the mockery of my family. Sometimes I want to take all of your tiny reigndeer and do some unspeakable things with them. You'd like that, then you could arrest me. Now all you do is torment me. Funny, isn't it. I'll see you laughing when you're crying. You're going to stop me from mailing this letter this time. But, the Post Office is closed today. So, I'm going to mail it on Thursday when they are open again. Then with all of the guilt and shame you feel, you won't stop me. I'll send it to everyone. To the newspaper. Tell that to Matt 
on channel 6. He should know, too.Sincerely,
You